The Loss of a Pet
Did You Know?
In 2015, 95% of U.S. households with a pet regarded their pet as a family member. Forty-four percent of Americans own a dog and 29% own a cat. However, there are more cats in the U.S than dogs. Interesting!
A story for children, ages 3-10, who have lost a pet. This story is about the relationship between a boy and his old dog. The old dog dies and the boy learns what it means to lose a best friend. The boy learns how to work through his grief and continue living without his pet.
Did You Know?
Sixty-eight percent of U.S. households, or about 85 million families, own a pet, according to the 2017-2018 National Pet Owners Survey conducted by the American Pet Products Association (APPA). This is up from 56 percent of U.S. households in 1988.
Dealing with Pet Loss
PETS IN OUR SOCIETY
Did you get your pet as a puppy or kitten; just 8 weeks old? Did you adopt or rescue a pet? Did you inherit your parent's or child's pet? Regardless of how your pet entered your life, you undoubtedly felt a great loss when they left it. Our society does not acknowledge the loss of a pet the way we do when a family member dies.
What are the benefits of owning a pet?
For children, pet ownership encourages responsibility, caring and communication. The relationship children have with their pets instills confidence and friendship. Both are qualities which grow with the child and are needed as an adult. Children learn valuable lessons in patience, self-control and gratification.
For adults, pet ownership provides companionship, gives stimulation to make contact with others and a sense of purpose.
For everyone, regardless of age, pets provide protection, affection, companionship, and unconditional love without expectations. Pets also add structure to our day. They keep us active and social and also help us overcome challenges in our life.
There are many benefits to owning a pet:
-increased physical activity
-increased self-worth from training, nurturing and caring for a pet
-reduced blood pressure
-reduced stress
-reduced anxiety
-decreased loneliness
Children are better protected from developing asthma and allergies as they grow into adulthood.
So why does losing a pet hurt so much?
It hurts because we bonded with our pet and became attached to it. We protected and cared for the pet for a long period of time and it became a part of our lifestyle. It gave us unconditional love that is now gone. Grieving for a pet in many ways is the same as grieving the loss of a family member.
What are healthy ways to cope with the loss of a pet? (These are applicable for any loss)
When your pet dies it is normal to feel a sense of loss and grief. It is also normal to experience psychological, emotional and physiological stress related to the death of your pet.
The more significant role the pet played in your life, has a direct impact on your grief. It is appropriate to grieve and mourn the loss of your pet. Grief and mourning are an individual experience. It is a process that happens gradually and cannot be rushed.
Give yourself permission to mourn the loss of your pet. Mourning is the slow process of adapting to the death and loss of your pet. We must first acknowledge the death with our brain, accepting it first on an intellectual level. The hurt and pain come in when we struggle with the absence we feel in our hearts. It is working through the hurt, pain and absence of the beloved pet that heals us in our grief.
Don’t let anyone tell you how to feel. It is okay to cry, be angry or to laugh.
Do reach out to others who have lost pets. Seek professional help if necessary.
Four Tasks to Mourning
1. Allow yourself to accept the reality of the loss.
2. Allow yourself to work through the pain of grief.
3. Allow yourself to adjust to the environment in which the deceased pet is missing
4. Allow yourself to emotionally relocate the deceased pet and move on.
How do I heal from the loss of a pet? (Applicable for any loss)
Rituals help healing. Feel free to hold a funeral or memorial service for your pet.
Create a legacy for your pet. Plant a memorial tree. Create a scrapbook or photo album of your pet. Make a treasure box for all of the pet’s special things.
Take care of yourself. Eat well, sleep for 7-8 hours a night, and exercise regularly.
Try to maintain a normal routine and begin to look to the future.
Children and Pet Loss
Children will grieve for a shorter time than adults. Children, just like adults, go through denial, anger, depression, bargaining, guilt and acceptance. Bargaining is rarely done for the loss of a pet.
Let y
our children see you express your grief.
Reassure your children that they did not cause the death of the pet. And that you their parents are not likely to die.
Involve your children in the dying process.
Allow your children to be involved in any memorial service or funeral. Have them create a keepsake of the beloved pet.
Do not rush out and buy a replacement pet. Allow children to grieve the loss they feel. It can take 6 months to 2 years to fully get over the loss.
Loss and Grief Support for Children
Looking for a Useful Resource for Children?
This book was written to help children through the loss of a loved one!
These lesson plans give professionals and parents a starting point and framework for assisting children through the grieving process. They can be used with individual children or in a small group. The intended audience is elementary school children, grades K-2 and 3-5. The lesson plans are designed to teach children about death and dying, the pain associated with the grieving process, and how to move forward while still remembering the loved one.
It is currently in over 100 Elementary Schools in the Mid-Atlantic states and growing, including every County in the state of Maryland.
Get it now and see why Counselors and parents like it and use it.
A Dog Named Lucky
A valuable resource for parents, teachers and counselors!
If you don't know where to start that difficult conversation with your child about loss, this book provides you with what you need. This book includes suggestions for parents, teachers and counselors to use with children. There are 4 activities to complete, in addition to the illustrated story. Veterinarians love it too and recommend it to their clients.
A Dog Named Lucky is a story for children, ages 3-10, who have lost a pet. This story is about the relationship between a boy and his old dog. The old dog dies and the boy learns what it means to lose a best friend. The boy learns how to work through his grief and continue living without his pet.